--- II Corinthians 5:17
Upon graduating from a medical university, I became a pediatrician in China. Later, my husband obtained a postdoctoral fellowship at Université du Québec. For the sake of seeing the outside world and looking for a simpler and better life, my daughter and I followed my husband to move from China’s Hebei province to Canada in 2000. I was an anxious person without real hope in my heart, especially after being immersed in a totally new and unfamiliar environment. During that time, I had a bad temper and often became angry or upset for trivial matters. I always quarreled with my husband, causing significant damage to our relationship. Sometimes, I tried to be self-restrained and patient, but the result was a bigger breakout a few days later. It seemed as if I had fallen into a vicious circle!
In a blink of an eye, it was already spring of 2008. One day, a lady preacher called Weiline knocked on our door. I received my first copy of the Chinese Holy Bible from her. At my age, I was no longer interested in martial art novels and love stories, so the Bible became the only Chinese book at hand. I would read the Bible for about one hour in the evening before going to bed, and was gradually and deeply shaken by its teachings! Although I liked the Bible very much and also felt that the teachings were very good, I couldn’t really believe in the existence of God and Jesus. I read the Bible intermittently for about three years. One day, I suddenly asked myself: “If you think the Bible’s teachings are so correct, why are you unable to accept God’s and Jesus’s existence? Is it because you are too stubborn? Is it because the problem is within yourself?” I couldn’t avoid these questions. I reflected on my own but couldn’t find the answer by myself.
Some time later, I took the initiative to call a Christian friend, sister Liu Yan, at the Alliance Grace Church. The sister asked if I could come to church where she would give me a book. I accepted her invitation. A few days later, I came to church for the first time and met with Pastor Philip Cherng after Sunday worship. Pastor Cherng asked me “how long have you believed in the Lord?” I replied: “I have not yet believed! There are so many religions in this world and I don’t know which one is real.” Pastor Cherng asked me if I had ever read the Holy Bible. I said I had read it and I liked it. Pastor Cherng said, “if you wish, we can pray together” and then he prayed for me. I remembered him saying: “Oh Lord, the lost sheep has finally come back home today!” and “seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” etc.
In that afternoon, I came back home and did groceries and cooking as usual. In the evening, when I laid down and read the Bible, I suddenly understood the existence of God and Jesus. In the following few days, I experienced the joy and peace that I had never had before. The usually endless and boring work was no longer that tedious, and even the attitude of my ladyboss was not that bad. I would usually dream a lot in my sleep but during those days I didn’t have even one dream. I became worry free and felt as if a beam of light shone into my heart and in each and every corner of my home. I was amazed that life could be so beautiful in this world! Then, the dream like beauty of the first few days passed fast. My faith was sometimes strong and sometimes weak. I was even wondering how I could have believed in God just like that, and if my faith was impulsive. Regardless, one thing I clearly knew is that I didn’t want to go back into the darkness searching for meaning by myself. I formally began to pray to our God, asking Him to help me and give me confidence!
After putting my faith in God, I came to Him with my problems. Falling on my knees, I prayed tearfully to Him to change me and to take away my inexplicably anxious, indifferent and helpless heart! At the same time, I brought the problem of mutual offence, harm, and gap between my husband and me to God to plead, repent, and ask for His pardon. It seemed nothing happened at that moment, but God wonderfully responded to my prayer. Since then, I had not quarreled loudly with my husband again. Although the proverb goes “a leopard cannot change its spots”, but with God, everything can change and everything can be done. My heart is now warm and peaceful. I can naturally and easily forgive those who offend me at work and in daily life because I am forgiven of my sins and am a child of God by faith in Jesus. Having the eternal life with Jesus, I now have solid hope and peace.
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Blessed are meek, for they will inherit the earth.
---Matthew 5:5