【1 John 1:9】If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Every year, when Thanksgiving approaches, I remind myself of my ordinary and tortuous baptism experience. I remember being an arrogant muddle-headed ignorant since childhood. I always believed that my ability directly affected my level of achievement. When I could not face my own suffering, I blamed my own incompetence.
In that year, I was stressed with job searching. Adding to that my weak health condition, I prayed to God for the first time in my life: “God, please solve all my problems before Easter, and I will get baptized on that Easter”. Just after, the following Bible verse appeared to me: 【Numbers 30:2】When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. I didn’t take it seriously at that time, and I told God: it’s too early to oblige me by a pledge. Let me wait and see.
The next day I was surprised by a call from the government that made me realize God’s amazing ability. It seemed to me that both my health and professional problems will be solved soon. My astonishment and enthusiasm at God’s amazing work began to fade in the next several months where I saw little to no progress at all. Just before Easter, however, all problems concerning my health and job that I prayed for were finally and suddenly gone.
I can’t help praising and thanking to God. Then I prayed again and read another passage in the Bible: 【Ecclesiastes 5:4-7】When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands?Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.
After I read that, I suspected I was in a dream. I was so shocked by God’s words, although I could not see Him, I couldn’t ignore His words. Once again, He reminded me the words “obligating me by a pledge”. It was by no means a coincidence. It was so real and serious that I didn’t dare to ignore and offend Him. To relieve the stress, I asked my husband and daughter whether or not they were willing to be baptized with me on Easter day. They shook their heads and said that they were not ready. I must admit I felt happy with their response, as I can use that as an excuse to avoid baptism this Easter myself. Unexpectedly, my husband added: “Pray to God again. Plead for a grace period so we can prepare ourselves for baptism at a later date, perhaps during Christmas.”
Then I prayed to God again. God gave me another passage: 【Deuteronomy 23:21-23】If you make a vow to the Lord your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the Lord your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin. But if you refrain from making a vow, you will not be guilty. Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the Lord your God with your own mouth. I was completely destabilized that I turned to the Preacher Yang for her advice.
After Preacher Yang listened to my story, as I expected, she didn’t agree to baptize me immediately because I didn’t attend the pre-baptismal classes. I smiled in my heart: I once again escaped baptism, and not even because of my own decision. She then said to me: “Although you are not eligible for baptism this time, you should turn to Jesus tonight, let Him show you all your sins and offenses since the age of three. You should make a thorough repentance in the face of Jesus Christ, then He will cleanse and forgive you.” The word “sin” upset me because in my usual opinion at that time, I have never committed crimes such as killing, arson or robbery. I have always acted in a decent way, it’s difficult for me to accept the concept that I was a sinful person with sin. Although that made me suspicious, I still promised to do so. As I prayed to do what she had asked me to do after I returned home, all the faults I ever committed before were revealed to me: from my childhood to adulthood, from the days in my primary school to university, from the school environment to the workplace, from before and after marriage until I became a mother. Those faults and sins displayed for me as screenshots. I was so surprised. I never imagined I committed so many faults. It was really my sins that I must admit to Jesus and ask for His forgiveness. It was quite amazing that I felt so relaxed after I repent for them and accepted Jesus as my savior.
In fact, for our spiritual salvation it is key to admit our sins, then repent and accept Jesus as our savior. It is our sin that separates us from God. An arrogant man will never find the kingdom of God. The Lord Jesus Christ crucified for our sins: this is God’s great love. I can feel real peace and happiness living in Jesus Christ’s love and I am able to resist sin since my repentance. After that, I read a biblical passage that was not related to obligation to pledge: 【Deuteronomy 26:16-19】The Lord your God commands you this day to follow these decrees and laws; carefully observe them with all your heart and with all your soul. You have declared this day that the Lord is your God and that you will walk in his ways, that you will keep his decrees, commands and laws, and that you will obey him. And the Lord has declared this day that you are his people, his treasured possession as he promised, and that you are to keep all his commands. He has declared that he will set you in praise, fame and honor high above all the nations he has made and that you will be a people holy to the Lord your God, as he promised.
From that night on, I was absolved from all my sins and saved by God. My spirit is brought back to a new life. I became a member of God’s people. Although I wasn’t baptized by water on that Easter, I was baptized by the Holy Spirit. To keep my promise, I underwent water baptism on Thanksgiving of 2011. I declared to the world that Jesus Christ became the savior of my life. Now another Thanksgiving is coming, I thank to God and praise Him. All glory to our Lord.